Conducts satirical research on topics ranging from quantum computing to clingy robot dog algorithms
Answers questions like “Can a computer understand a Scotsman?” and “Is Sarah Palin real?”
Secures the power grid and your home from the prying eyes of government drones a.k.a. birds
Expands science by studying cow-based atmospheres, and the flavortown center of the brain
Solves climate change and saves the world by proposing a banana-based fission reactor
Nullifies the possibility of getting lost at the fair with a mirror-house escape algorithm
Description
Tired of the same old math, science, statistics, and programming memes people post online and want something a little more elaborate? This is the book for you.
Tremble as we make up all our own facts and data, hand-draw diagrams in MS Paint, and quote from fictional studies and journals. Cower as authors write in the first person because their study is just a little too personal for them. Recoil from the sheer mass of oversimplified methodology, distilling someone's entire thesis into a paragraph of jokes crude enough to make it into a Mike Myers movie.
Over the last few years, we have taken arguments that you would normally have after four Jack and cokes at game night and turned them into properly formatted research papers with a writing tone serious enough to confuse the uninitiated. These papers are high-effort jokes by researchers and scientists for researchers and scientists. They cover a range of topics such as the consequences of re-releasing tourists back into Yellowstone National Park after COVID-19, how to play StarCraft competitively online on a quantum computer, and most importantly, how trees around the globe are becoming increasingly radicalized.
What you will learn
How to draw a graph using MS Paint, maybe
Whether Sarah Palin is a figment of your imagination
How one pirate cat brought about the extinction of the beloved dodo
Why rabbits used to be jerks back in the day
If you actually learn anything from these articles, get your memory erased immediately
B McGraw studied ECE at the USAFA after googling average incomes by degrees and finding out how much college costs. After studying signals processing at AFIT for an MS, he worked as a test engineer at Edwards AFB with an emphasis on cowboy coding and statistical methods you hope no one asks about. After leaving the Air Force as a captain, B McGraw moved to Atlanta to develop sensor fusion and analysis algorithms at GTRI. As a side hobby, he writes novels and satirical science articles, clickbait, and news for his fake journal jabde completely for free until he sold out by writing this book. He can no longer complain about paywalls.
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